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My life may not be exciting. In fact, for the most part, it isn’t. Hence, weeks of no blog posts. I mean, I did close a rather exciting deal last week. First and second lien secured credit facility worth $2.05 billion. The second lien facility was particularly interesting, as it contained a PIK-toggle feature that allows the borrower to elect to pay interest in kind during various interest periods.

What, that’s not interesting to you? You don’t want me to explain more about PIK-toggle? It’s a developing trend in leveraged financings.

Ok, fine. I’ll instead have to live vicariously through the lives of my friends, who have more flair than I. Take Aurelia, for instance. She’s moved back to LA, where the celebrities aren’t as well behaved as those here in the city. Here’s her story, which arrived in my inbox with the title “Matthew Perry is an [body part, comparisons to which are generally considered unflattering]!”

So I went to the movies tonight (to see that movie The Invisible). I was there with my friend, Brandy, and there were only 2 other people in the theater. The lights darkened, and 2 figures came in and of course decided that of all the empty seats, in all the theater, they would sit in the row directly in front of me. The profile of one of the guys, who was the only one I really got a look at, looked really familiar to me. I kept thinking it was Kevin Pollack (though I didn’t remember his name then, only recognized his face). Anyway, clearly in an attempt to convince the rest of us that he and his friend were not gay, they had to do the customary “sit with one empty seat between them” move. (Seriously. Why do guys do that?? Idiots.). The two of them then proceeded to speak loudly throughout the beginning of the film, making jokes about the film and laughing out loud (at nowhere appropriate moments), which of course is exacerbated by the fact that the movie’s music was loud (albeit good) and they had to shout more loudly in order to be heard across the vastness of the empty seat between them. Anyway, apparently failing to realize that the rest of us were not interested in their running commentary, the next time I heard one of them speak sopra voce (it was He Would Later Be Recognized As Matthew Perry), I promptly cut him off and yelled at him to “Shut. Up.”, in a deeper, rather pronounced growl. Hilarious. One, because Matthew promptly shut his trap. And two, as what later became evident, I had told Matthew “Friends loser and diet pill addict” Perry to shut his trap.

When the movie ended, I got a chance to see Kevin’s comrade, and that’s when I realized he looked strikingly like Matthew Perry, same spikey-hair from 10 years ago. I guess Brandy had only seen him when he entered so had wondered as well if that were him. Our mutual recognition made us believe we were correct, but just to be sure, we asked the ticket taker outside our theater. She validated our sighting and also let us know that Matthew was a big butt when he gave her his movie tickets as well.

So, my only regret: That they both shut up so I didn’t get to use a further zinger. For example:
“Yeah, Matt, we get that you think this movie is ridiculous. Sorry it couldn’t be more like the American classics “Fools Rush In” and “The Whole Nine Yards”.”
But, alas, it was not to be. Sigh. Another day perhaps….

Later learned trivia: I thought the pairing of Matt and Kevin was bizarre, but upon searching IMDB, it looks like they costarred together in The Whole 10 Yards, the much anticipated sequel to that earlier cited masterpiece, The Whole Nine Yards.

Our daily bulletin here at work, distributed via our intranet, is a frequent source of amusement for me. Today was no exception, as the following article was posted:

Safety is Always in Season

It’s that time of year again. With the arrival of nicer weather, people’s thoughts naturally turn to spending more time out of the house and becoming active again. Public areas attract increased foot traffic and frenzied buildings become commonplace scenarios. With the bustle going on around us, it’s easy to overlook building transportation safety.

Riding in an elevator has become so commonplace that few of us give much thought to our safety when stepping through those automatic doors. Nevertheless, it is crucial to take preventive measures and be proactive about elevator safety. Familiarizing oneself with common safety practices and taking extra caution is especially important in well-populated buildings such as offices, libraries, malls and amusement parks.

The article continued with brilliant safety tips like “Always stand clear of the elevator doors, keeping belongings away from the opening. Stand aside for exiting passengers and hold children by the hand” and “Watch your step — the elevator car may not be perfectly level with the floor.”

I may be the only person who thinks this is funny, but a 300-word article devoted to elevator safety just seems liked a stretch for a real topic.